Featured Articles

Adventures in Post-Divorce Dating

By Heather Setrakian, MA

As part of an article that I’m writing for eHarmony Parenting, I started to research dating for divorced parents. Interestingly, while there have been several studies on remarriage and step-parenting and the general effects of divorce on family- very few exist for dating while divorced.

“Where’s Your Common Sense?” Inside the Teen Brain

By Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

Why can’t she think before she acts? Why does he get so emotional so easily? How much freedom do I give her to decide how she spends her time? How do I give him the skills he needs for meaningful relationships?

Do questions like these ever run through your mind? If so, you might be interested in hearing about some cutting-edge science on the adolescent brain that helps shed some light on these questions.

What Kids Need Most

By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT

In a couple of weeks I’m participating in a panel discussion at a local high school. There, in front of a very large crowd, I will join four other experts discussing the dangers, the patterns (and the strategies to combat) teenage drug use. The panel discussion is titled “Drug Awareness and Prevention Seminar,” and the PTA is marketing it through a number of channels. Hundreds of anxious parents can be expected.


The First Born Advantage?

By Heather Setrakian, MA

In recent studies published in Science and Intelligence, and reported by the New York Times, the eldest children in the family tended to develop higher I.Q.’s than their siblings; a slight but significant difference that may have a big cumulative effect. The researchers also stated that the results clarify the debate on nature vs. nurture. The differences were due to family dynamics and not biological factors such as prenatal environment. Differences in household environments or sibling gender did not explain the elder sibling’s higher scores. You might be wondering “These I.Q. differences were only a few points, so do I really need to care? What’s the big hoopla?” When asked a similar question, Dr. Frank Sulloway, an expert on family dynamics at University of California, Berkeley who provided answers on the Time’s website and editorial commentary to the article, had this to say:

“It is worth noting that 2.3 extra I.Q. points (the advantage enjoyed by a firstborn over an immediately younger sibling) is approximately equivalent to scoring an extra 15 points on each SAT test, or a combined 45 points on the three current tests, which have a mean combined score of about 1,500 points. The cutoffs for acceptance to the best colleges, based on SAT scores, often hinge on where one stands within a range of just 40 to 50 points on the three tests combined.”

Whoa. Should parents start to worry about their second and third children? Should I call up my youngest sister and gloat? Probably not. While some studies have families describing the firstborn as “more disciplined, responsible, and high-achieving” (ah-hem) younger siblings may distinguish themselves in other ways to gain attention- such as social grace and charm, athletics, music or the arts (ah shucks. I quit the piano ages ago). Dr. Frank Sulloway agrees:

first born“I.Q. is hardly everything, and much that makes people successful in life has to do with how people use their intelligence rather than with their intelligence per se. In addition, there is considerable evidence suggesting that siblings born later use their intelligence differently from the way firstborns use theirs. Indeed, later-born siblings would appear to have 2.3 extra points of one difficult-to-measure intellectual skill (associated with unconventional thinking) that firstborns sometimes lack.”

Looks like everyone gets their own gold star.

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