eHarmony Parenting - Mothers and Daughters

Parenting Topics

Featured Articles

Adventures in Post-Divorce Dating

As part of an article that I’m writing for eHarmony Parenting, I started to research dating for divorced parents. Interestingly, while there have been several studies on remarriage and step-parenting and the general effects of divorce on family- very few exist for dating while divorced.

“Where’s Your Common Sense?” Inside the Teen Brain

By Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

Why can’t she think before she acts? Why does he get so emotional so easily? How much freedom do I give her to decide how she spends her time? How do I give him the skills he needs for meaningful relationships?

Do questions like these ever run through your mind? If so, you might be interested in hearing about some cutting-edge science on the adolescent brain that helps shed some light on these questions.

What Kids Need Most

By Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT

In a couple of weeks I’m participating in a panel discussion at a local high school. There, in front of a very large crowd, I will join four other experts discussing the dangers, the patterns (and the strategies to combat) teenage drug use. The panel discussion is titled “Drug Awareness and Prevention Seminar,” and the PTA is marketing it through a number of channels. Hundreds of anxious parents can be expected.

Mothers and Daughters

By Heather Setrakian, MA

I think moms generally get a bad rap as their children get older. In movies and TV they are usually portrayed as neurotically overbearing or with selfish disdain (or an absurd amount of wisdom, but I digress). And adult daughters of mothers can often be seen as helpless to their mother’s power and hoping she will cut her visit short. Is that really the case in the real world? If it is for you, take heart, according to several researchers, your relationship with your mom improves over time (Fischer, 1981), especially if you get married and have children.

As a daughter transitions into motherhood, she may establish a new closeness with her mom- even if previous relations were negative. Barnett, Kibria, Baruch and Pleck (1991) reported that a young-adult daughter (under age 33) would experience more emotional distress with their mother during bad times, but experience more benefit from the relationship during good times than older-adult daughters. This might be because the several roles an older-adult daughter holds (parent, spouse, career, etc) lessen the impact and provide more resilience. Sickness and care-giving stress is independent of these assertions. Either way, disagreement within the relationship doesn’t define or detract from it (Boyd 1989). Most daughters and mothers, when interviewed, describe their relationship as rewarding despite also reporting conflict. Fox (1979; as cited by Boyd, 1989) noted that “intimacy and irritation go hand-hand.” (p.21) So there you have it. Mom. I love you, sometimes you drive me crazy, and I couldn’t imagine life without you.

Barnett, R.C., Kibria, N., Baruch, G.K., Pleck, J.H. (1991). Adult daughter-parent relationships and their association with daughters’ subjective well-being and psychological distress. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 29-42.

Boyd, C.J. (1989). Mothers and daughters: A discussion of theory and research. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 51 291-301.
Fischer, L.R. (1981). Transitions in mother-daughter relationship. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 43 613-622.