Hot Enough For Ya?
You’ve probably seen “The Far Side” cartoon entitled, “Nerds in Hell.” It depicts a long line of the eternally damned waiting for, perhaps, eternity. There we find a plaid shirt-wearing, broken-glasses-donning nerd elbowing the next hellion in line, trying to make small talk: “Hot enough for ya?”
Well, at the risk of revealing my true nerdness, it is really hot out there. The entire country, and even most of Europe, is enveloped in a ridiculously scorching heat wave. Unless you’re one of the fortunate to live on the California coast, then you know what I’m talking about.
I’m originally from Houston, so I know heat. I sincerely believe that Houston, with its deadly combination of heat and humidity, is one of the hottest places on earth. That’s one of the reasons I don’t live there, and one of the reasons I love Atlanta. Here we have four seasons, all on the temperate side. But lately it feels just like Houston around here, and it is just miserable.
And as the so-called preacher of ScreamFree, I like to keep my cool.
It’s when things get hot, whether outside in the sun or inside in our families, that we most need to keep our cool. And that’s what ScreamFree is all about, becoming the cool parents your kids want, and need, most.
Whenever I tell people initially about the phrase “cool parent,” I see a lot raised eyebrows, even a few turned-up noses. This is usually because our minds initially conjure images of parents not acting their age. Here’s a few examples, which are definitely NOT what we mean by “cool”:
• An alarming number of parents are, in an effort to be “cool” in their kids eyes, hosting alcohol parties. These are so-called safe alternatives to having kids out there drinking on their own. This way the parents are at least supervising the activity. As a result, 35 states have passed laws outlawing such hosted parties, and 15 states go further, indicting parents for not stopping underage drinking in their home.
• A Colorado woman just pled guilty yesterday to hosting teenage sex parties. She stated she wanted to be a “cool mom,” while her lawyer said she had always wanted to be popular when she was a teenager, and she got caught up in being the popular mom to so many teenaged boys.
With these images in mind, it makes perfect sense for anyone to become alarmed at our encouragement to become “The “Cool” Parent Your Kids Really Need.”
Here’s what we really mean:
A “Cool” Parent is…
• the mom who calmly informs her kids that all the items on the steps are theirs, and if they want to keep such items from going to Goodwill, they will pick ‘em up on their trip upstairs; and
• the mom who, without making any big announcements to the fact, makes that trip to Goodwill the next day.
A “Cool” Parent is…
• the dad who stays true to his promise and invites his son to practice driving on Saturday, and
• the dad who resists every temptation to throw in the towel when his son accidentally bumps the tree while backing out of the driveway.
A “Cool” Parent is…
• the mom who works on knowing when she’s approaching her wit’s end, and
• the mom who has the courage to do whatever’s necessary to give herself the space she needs to calm down and treat herself well.
A “Cool” Parent is…
• the dad who decides to take a very active role in nurturing his new baby; and
• the dad who continues that active role even when the baby throws up on his shirt, poops on his hands while he’s changing the diaper, and even when his mom and mother-in-law complain that he’s just getting in the way.
Basically, a “cool” parent is that mom or dad who takes their own demeanor and behavior more seriously than their child’s, realizing that in order to be an influence on a child they have to themselves remain an adult. A “cool” parent is that mom or dad who realizes that no matter the situational stress and disaster potential of the moment, remaining calm and connected offers the greatest potential for creating a positive outcome. Mostly, a “cool” parent is that mom or dad who, unlike our “Drinking-Party” or “Sex-Party” parents, fulfill their own emotional desires for acceptance and validation through healthy adult relationships and realize that this is not what their kids are put on this earth to do.
(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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